Wednesday, 3 August 2016

Believing.



As I'm looking out of the window, registering the raindrops fall onto the plants whilst sipping my cup of earl grey tea, my mind wanders to that place I am visiting a lot. I don't know what it is and I can't really explain it. But it's comforting and terrifying at once.
You might have absolutely no clue, what I'm talking about. I know I haven't the slightest idea what I'm rambling on about, but today I would like to talk about opening about things. Things I'm very closed about normally. It's time to let you know a bit more about me.
For those who have read my post on religion (HERE), they know that I'm a Roman Catholic.  I'm not open about this for several reasons, but most importantly it's because it's regarded as not done by most in my generation. I'm regarded as relatively intelligent person, but as soon as they see my necklace of St.Jacob or the cross. The inevitable questions follows and my proud answer is met with disgust: Religious? But mate you are such an intelligent person. How could you be that stupid?

Obviously not everyone has this response and the people close to me 'accept' it and 'respect' me. And that's something you have to read twice. They respect me, but don't respect religion. So that makes it hard sometimes to be honest. My family believes but to say that they are very devout, is something complete different I think.

I have absolutely no problem with my friends not being believers. None at all. I think that's the power of real friendship. But sometimes it's hard too. I want to talk about my religion. How it has its effect on me, how it does make me learn and how I struggle with it sometimes. I mean, I'm proud of my religion and my faith has grown over the years due to certain life changes. But still I miss the conversations with my generation.

I'm not perfect at all. Far from. I swear from time to time. I have sinful thoughts. The things I have been through and are going through with family and friends, isn't always exactly very devoted. I know that. But that doesn't mean I can't be a good catholic. We all have our flaws and we all deal with it in different ways in my opinion.

I wanted to be more open about this, because this is something that's very close to my heart. It's something you should know about me and I really hope this doesn't alter the way you think of me. I would hate to lose such good friends over this matter. It would be painful, to say the least.

I pray every night for my recovery with mental health, that the world becomes a more peaceful place. But I also pray for you fantastic people who have been nothing short of a big bowl of creativity, positivity and inspiration.

It was quite hard to talk about this, it really took a lot of energy and this is where I leave it for today. I will try to post more on this and on other subjects which do really explain how I feel or behave or whatever. It's important for me to share with you lot and I hope you do learn something about me and the way I see the world.

I would like to thank Celeste from the blog With Love From Celeste. She has commented on my last post about it and it's so comforting and inspiring to meet her. I haven't talked with her yet, but she seems like such a wonderful person. You can also follow her here on twitter :)

Thank you so much people

Marc




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