Sunday, 27 November 2016

'You can't be a feminist, you're a bloke'


You must be thinking, what the hell is going on right here?! Marc get a grip, you are a man. Why would you want to blog about something that doesn't effect you or has any benefit for you. This is the problem in my opinion, let's break down feminism for this blogpost. Because men can be feminists too.
Let's begin at the beginning. A few months back I wrote blogpost about how it's important to focus on mental health and in particular for men. I wrote that because the statistics show that suicide amongst men is higher and combine that with the social expectations of men & emotions, well you can do the math. I just wanted to give the men a voice and raise awareness of the fact that we should all be able to talk about our emotions freely. No matter if you are a woman or a man.

The reactions I got were, overwhelming. Yeah, that's a good word for it. A lot of it was very positive and I've made great friends because of it. But on the other hand I got some shocking reactions as well to be honest. You can categorise them in two groups. One group were the tough guys who described me as weak and as homosexual. Because obviously your sexual orientation is defined by your amount of crying. *sigh*
The other group were women who thought I was putting men above women and therefore I was the enemy. I was anti-women and it was 'obvious' to those women, that I was a typical man. They emailed me frequently and still do, always signed with their name and the title: Feminist.

Needless to say I was hurt. I don't think I was hurt because of the negative reactions, but I think the nature of the reactions hurt me. Especially from the so-called Feminists. I mean, it's not very nice to be called a misogynist every other week, now is it? I perceive myself as a very supportive lad who doesn't make any distinction between the sexes at all. I talked about it with friends both male and female and they all told me the same thing basically: Let it go.

Other than singing the Frozen-film song, I couldn't let it pass like that. It kept me up at night. It consumed me fam, I started to doubt myself so much. Am I unkind to women? Am I not putting enough effort in? Do women really hate me? Is that the reason my relationships have ended, because I'm perceived as misogynist due to some actions? I cried a lot because of it and I honestly didn't know what do with myself and with the whole situation.

So to make sure how I felt about this all and to make sure I could join the debate with people who think the same way as my 'lovely' critics do, I decided to look up the definition of what Feminism means.

"Feminism is a range of political movements, ideologies and social movements that share a common goal: to define, establish, and achieve political, economic, personal and social rights for women."


When I look at that definition I think: Yeah, yes! This feels good, I'm all behind it! But somehow the idea of men being feminists is made non-existent or perceived as something you cannot be. Because men are privileged and every man in his right mind wouldn't want that to go away, right? Pff, what is with society, that we can't support each other without being punished for doing so?

It's only natural that more women are involved in feminism, because it's 'their' fight. They have not been given the same privileges as men, for a long time. And even now, in this day and age, it's bloody difficult for some girls and women to be treated as equals, because some men perceive women as inferior. Bollocks if you ask me.

This all adds to the thought of men wanting to be superior, but that's not the case. By fighting for gender-equality, you will only grow. As a person and as gender. It hurts me when people say I can't fight for the rights of women. It hurts me when people call me anti-women and misogynist, because I happen to be a man.


We men have a role to play in feminism. Not only is it our job to support women and fight alongside them from the outside. We should look into the mirror and say: Let's fucking end this. Let's do it. It's our duty, we are all the same and it's time for us to get our head out of our arse and start living as we ought to do. I'm very passionate about this and won't stop talking about it, won't stop advocating and I will always support the cause.

I'm Marc, I'm 24 years old and I'm Dutch. I'm a football obsessed blogger suffering from anxiety, depression and OCD who also is a feminist. I love women. Yes, I'm a feminist and I will fight for the rights of every girl and woman on this planet. We are all the same.

Please let me know if I have said anything offensive, I intended no harm.

What do you think of feminism? Is it purely a female thing or is it something we should all fight for?
Marc







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6 comments

  1. So sorry that you got hate for the previous post you did. You have every write to spread awareness regarding male suicide and it doesn't make you anti-feminist, it means you've raised an often ignored issue. In my opinion, more people talk about feminism and female abuse and suicide than male, due to the stigma that if you talk about male problems you're anti-feminist. It's awful. I'm a feminist and here in the UK it isn't uncommon for men to be feminists too, it's lovely! xxx

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    1. I just wanted to react to all the comments and negativity in the way I see most fit. I think it's very important to talk about!

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  2. This is a really great post! I think it is awesome that you call yourself a feminist and agree completely with the points that you make. Feminism isn't just about women, it is about eliminating the restraints placed upon individuals as a result of their gender; including the stigma surrounding men expressing their feelings or talking about their mental health and I wish that more people would recognize this.

    -Minerva http://nerdwordblog.blogspot.com

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    1. You are so right, Minerva! That's exactly why I wrote this post, I want to spread awareness! Thank you for commenting :)

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  3. I would never have said you were misogynistic Marc! You treat everybody the same, with kindness and love. I've never seen you champion one above the other and I hate that this situation has caused you so much hurt.

    Unfortunately I think the best action is to ignore if I'm honest. If these women who deemed it necessary to send you shitty emails come back to your blog, maybe they'll see this post and realise that you're not the person they thought you were. And if they don't, well it's their loss because you are a fantastic human

    xx

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    1. Yes, I think the best reaction is to do what I do best. I want to keep it positive and I hope this post has been positive, because that's all I ever want. Thank you for commenting!

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